Making fun of being overweight and fat people is an intrinsic part of society today. And as a big fat guy, I’ve been the butt of some bad fat jokes and have even laughed at a few really good roasts for fat people over the years. So in this article, I’ll be sharing a compilation of the best fat people jokes I’ve come across.
Let’s face it…
If you’re a fat person, you can’t escape being laughed at by “slimmer” people. You’ll either be laughed at to your face, be made fun of behind your back, or publicly humiliated. For fat men, any of those situations are bad, but as a man, we’ve got balls so that we can deal with it. However, fat women have a much more difficult time being on the receiving end of fat jokes.
But whichever end of the spectrum you fall on, the best way to counter being laughed at is to know the jokes yourself. Then be firm enough to accept them, ignore them, and then move on with your life. For the slim folks reading this, these offensive fat jokes are the ones you need to add to your collection since you currently use most likely suck.
I know other fat persons might hate me for sharing these, but I’ve come to accept being fat. And whatever realities come with it won’t stop me from ordering pizza because it’s much harder to kidnap a fat person. Plus, it saves me a few hundred dollars I’d need to spend on winter clothes.
Either way, here are the best funny fat people jokes I’ve come across in my days:
25 Best Fat People Jokes:
- You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.
- “Never Make fun of a fat person; they already have enough on their plates.”
- “He’s so fat; if he went camping with us, the bears would be too occupied hiding their food so we’d be safe.”
- “You’re so fat; you wake up on both sides of the bed in the morning.”
- “A teacher walked into class one day and asked who little Timmy sits beside; the class immediately answered, “Next to all of us!” in unison.”
- “You’re so fat; you have to use google maps to locate your **** before going to the bathroom.”
- “A skinny guy walked up to a fat guy and said to everyone, ‘Look! When we stand together, we look like the number 10.”
- “You’re so overweight; I bet your nose don’t even run!”
- “You’re so big when you call an Uber you have to book it as a group.”
- “You are such a big fat person that I hear companies reach out to you to advertise on your forehead.”
- “A guy walks up to a fat girl and asks when is she planning to do a gender reveal.”
- “You’re such a fatty. I bet you always use “fudge” instead of “fu*k.” Ha, I bet you also prefer to eat fudge instead of “fu*k.”
- “I don’t know what’s worse about your fat, the fact that you’re gonna die if you keep it up or the fact that we’ll need paul bearers to carry your urn.”
- “I bet growing up; your parents never told you that eating should’ve been a necessity and not one of your hobbies!”
- “You look like the main character from the movie Lord of the Onion Rings.”
- A fat person says to the doctor, “I inherited genes that caused me to be fat.” The doctor responds, “Oh..you’re another one of the descendants of the Greek god Diabetes.”
- You are so fat when you walk with your friends it looks like they are orbiting you.
- Fat people hate roasts; they always prefer BBQs.
- “You’re so fat; when you sent a dick pic to that girl, she posted it in her community on a Missing… Return if Found flyer.”
- If you lived in Japan, people would officially recognize you as “The Last Hamurai.”
- I bet the kids in your class used to call you the “Last Chairbender.”
- “I bet you remember everything that’s happened to you; after all, Eggplants never forget.”
- You look like your virginity is better protected than Area 51.
- “Here’s a fat joke I’m sure you haven’t seen in a while – Your Dick.“
- Fat people could end the hunger crises in Africa by sacrificing themselves to be roasted.
I’ve spent quite a while browsing videos, forums, Reddit, and my memory in order to compile these jokes. If you’ve got any that you think are worth adding to this article, feel free to leave them in the comments below. If you need more inspiration, here are a few youtube videos with some pretty good roasts for fat people:
Fat jokes aren’t always funny since obesity is a chronic disease like diabetes, high blood pressure, and other human ailments. People don’t make fun of diabetics, nor people with high blood pressure. So you shouldn’t make fun of fat people just because of their physical appearance.
Instead, offering a helping hand and a kind word of encouragement to help a heavy person lose weight is a much better thing to do as a human. But if making fun of a fat person is your thing, go for it. Just beware that your words could potentially end someone’s life and could get you in trouble.
As a big guy that has always been on the heavy side, I’ve become immune to next to everything you could say to me. And I highly advise other heavy people to either accept themselves or lose weight. At the end of the day, jokes are jokes, so only take these roasts for fat people as such.